I been wanting to share this bit of my story for a long long time. Its about my grandmothers...my biological one and one in relation...my mom's mami ji. Second one addressed as Bibi. As I write I can visualize her in her spic and span dhotis (cotton sarees) walking with pride and in total control and command. She indeed was the true commander of her big joint family. She handled finance like a pro and she had not had a chance to study ..may be not even till primary. But she ensured that all her children studied and got into respectable professions....mostly as educators. Bibi made up for the absence of my beloved nani..fondly called Bhua Nani, who suffered from cancer and died at a very young age of 48. Bhua nani was bhua to Bibi's children but we all started calling her that. Its interesting how relationships are developed in joint families. Bhua nani was hugely talented, creative, meticulous and the best cook in the world. I have never till date met a woman who can make the real 'sardai' (thandai) as she used to make for us. She could sew and embroider to perfection. Most of all she inculcated love of God in our hearts but she left us too soon to become a 'tara' a star in the sky..as we kids were told. Bibi became nani to me and my brothers and gave us endless memories to share. She gave us love and something more. Something that I realized when she came and patted me on my back...after she had died. That moment is unforgettable experience.
I clearly remember when a phone ring stopped me in the doorway. I was leaving for an important event that day. I felt Bibi was there with me in the door way. It felt strange too. Meanwhile my mom answered the call inside the house and I felt some strange connection. I was compelled to walk back inside. Mom said that Bibi is no more... I COULD believe it..could...because I had felt her spiritual presence near me near the door. I could not go to Punjab for her last glimpse but I heard that so many people came for her last rites. She was respected. She was pious.
Pious. In fact my earliest memory of her is she chanting Hare Krsna mahamantra. She was unknowingly a Krsna Bhakt. She even nick-named one of my brothers Shyama... Lord Krsna's name as spoken in Punjabi. Lighting the ghee lamps at dawn and dusk was (and still is) a ritual at all our homes, as was going to temples or dargahs on designated days of the week. That is the beauty of simple small town life. My ancestors had built two temples and a sarai in our home town (these are known landmarks in my home town)...one temple is of Shiva and other of Radha Krsna and we were taken there quite often. When I connected with ISKCON..I remembered my earliest connection with KRSNA.. which had been reinforced by my Bibi. Today I sift, sort, analyze those childhood memories and I realize my love for Krsna is deep rooted..just like my roots...in my home town. Every time I chant Krsna's name I remember Bibi with love. My brother and I were surprised that we can actually recite a Nag leela that we used to sing with her in our childhood.
I do not know where is she and whether she is around me in a new life but I know she will very happy to know where I am heading for.. and as she used to appreciate me looking at my notebooks... "Moti piroye aa..means your handwriting is so good it seems like pearls strung together... I used to laugh. "But you can't read it..how can you say that?" She was quick witted and would say," Disda tah hai..." Meaning I may not be able to read but I can see it.
Sure you could... Bibi..you could see much more than others could. There are so many things only you could see... and even read and even change.
Thank you Krsna for giving me so much love through her ...Hare Krsna Bibi...I know you still will be chanting HIS name and leading a beautiful life somewhere.
I clearly remember when a phone ring stopped me in the doorway. I was leaving for an important event that day. I felt Bibi was there with me in the door way. It felt strange too. Meanwhile my mom answered the call inside the house and I felt some strange connection. I was compelled to walk back inside. Mom said that Bibi is no more... I COULD believe it..could...because I had felt her spiritual presence near me near the door. I could not go to Punjab for her last glimpse but I heard that so many people came for her last rites. She was respected. She was pious.
Pious. In fact my earliest memory of her is she chanting Hare Krsna mahamantra. She was unknowingly a Krsna Bhakt. She even nick-named one of my brothers Shyama... Lord Krsna's name as spoken in Punjabi. Lighting the ghee lamps at dawn and dusk was (and still is) a ritual at all our homes, as was going to temples or dargahs on designated days of the week. That is the beauty of simple small town life. My ancestors had built two temples and a sarai in our home town (these are known landmarks in my home town)...one temple is of Shiva and other of Radha Krsna and we were taken there quite often. When I connected with ISKCON..I remembered my earliest connection with KRSNA.. which had been reinforced by my Bibi. Today I sift, sort, analyze those childhood memories and I realize my love for Krsna is deep rooted..just like my roots...in my home town. Every time I chant Krsna's name I remember Bibi with love. My brother and I were surprised that we can actually recite a Nag leela that we used to sing with her in our childhood.
I do not know where is she and whether she is around me in a new life but I know she will very happy to know where I am heading for.. and as she used to appreciate me looking at my notebooks... "Moti piroye aa..means your handwriting is so good it seems like pearls strung together... I used to laugh. "But you can't read it..how can you say that?" She was quick witted and would say," Disda tah hai..." Meaning I may not be able to read but I can see it.
Sure you could... Bibi..you could see much more than others could. There are so many things only you could see... and even read and even change.
Thank you Krsna for giving me so much love through her ...Hare Krsna Bibi...I know you still will be chanting HIS name and leading a beautiful life somewhere.
