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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

What's in a surname?

My daughters' passports were to be re-issued.. (RE-ISSUED) and the passport clerk spotted an GROSS error..Surnames do not match with those of the parents. So objection was raised. I went to APO and finally they dug out old application records and cleared the case. Both my girls have their OWN names in full..no surnames or family names. I have to explain this many times to many people that I have given my children a unique identity..they don't have to change their names after marriage etc. My husband is appreciative and supportive of this decision and the school has finally understood that too. Else I was known as Mrs So and so, four different surnames, my maiden, my married one and with my two daughters' second names.

Once a an Air India staffer at Kolkata airport asked me the reasons for no surnames and when I explained it to her, she said, "Hats off ma'am. You are a gutsy women." Guts? It is logical way to give a Girl Child her due place in society. Let her not be known by someone's name and keep changing her identity with changes in her marital status. A name is one's identity and sadly I see many women losing a part of them in these petty changes. Some feel guilty and some feel sad about changing it. Besides everything, it is whole lot of paperwork and unnecessary affidavits that one makes for these changes. As the passport clerk said.. some come for change after marriage, some after divorce and some after remarriage. What a waste of energy, time and resources, Give your girls an UNIQUE NAME and teach them to make a name for themselves. That will bring about a great change in their attitudes and in the society. Whats in a name? Lots, when you have to go through the official documentation. Its legal, social and emotional issue.

6 comments:

  1. I asked my wife not to change her maiden name. Unnecessary official pain in the posterior, I argued. She has been sticking to her maiden name all the two decades of our marriage and it has not affected our relationship adversely in any way.

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    1. Wow, It is wonderful to know that. Sadly, in Maharashtra, they change it or modify it on their own. Its a tough battle here.

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  2. Totally agree. Name-changes are truly "legal, social & emotional".
    Great that your husband was supportive of your decision to give unique names to your daughters. Kudos!
    May every girl make a name for herself.

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  3. It was common atleast in Kerala to not change maiden names. But we are really tired .. so tired.. of explaining to everyone that we dont have surnames. I have to always check my name doesnt include my father-in-laws name as that is the last name of my husbands. Inspite of this cross checking, i still have 2 docs with the father-in-law's name added.

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    1. Thank you for sharing this. I agree with you...I am fighting the same here but I am hopeful that we will soon find our identities.

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