Fauj ki Daaru

(Written in a lighter vein and is not directed at any one person.. बहुत लोग दिल पे ले सकते हैं। Please know you are not the only one.. :) Enjoy..Happy Diwali.


आर्मी? आप आर्मी में हैं?
मेरे husband.
पहले क्यों नहीं बताया, अरे वह आप से एक काम है।  कुछ चाहिए।
क्या दारु ? एक  स्वाभाविक प्रश्न मेरे मुंह से निकल गया।
अरे हाँ.. एक तो फ़ौज की दारु बहुत सस्ती मिलती है और दूसरा बहुत pure  होती है.  उन्होंने justify kiya..

Well, फौजी की बेटी हूँ, फौजी की बीवी हूँ,, और फ़ौज के दारु के बारे में यह सुनते सुनते उम्र बीत गयी.  नहीं मैं किसी को जज नहीं कर रही पर सच मानिये फ़ौज से जुड़े होने का जो मान एक फौजी परिवार को कभी मिलता था वह अब सस्ती शराब में बह गया। हमारी ख़ासियत यही रह गयी. यह सच है कि एक जनरल ने तो ट्रक भर दारू बेची शायद इसी वजह से दारु फ़ौज की पहचान सी हो गई है.

मैं कभी पीती नहीं थी, पर पति शौक से पीते थे और उनके दोस्त भी और सोशल पार्टीज में फ़ौज में दारु बहुत आम और सहज सी बात है इसलिए हम ने भी बढ़िया से बढ़िया क्रिस्टल के गिलास इकट्ठा कर लिए थे। We faujis actually drink in style. Beer tumblers, mugs, Champagne, Whiskey, Wine glasses, crystal decanters in various shapes and ice pale were part of my Opera crystal collection. Even the choicest bottle openers, cork openers and tongs are a collectors delight and so is my husbands collection of daaru.

Ladies do drink socially and I am not averse to it. Its just that I never felt like but when people pester a lot I ask for Champagne and only few would have it. होगा भी तो सिर्फ मेरे लिए शैम्पेन खोलने के लिए दिल चाहिए.  आधी प्रॉब्लेम तो ऐसे ख़त्म हो जाती है. Once a senior officer actually got after me to drink Vodka and I told him, "Main bina piye logon ki aisee taisee kar deti hoon, aap ne Vodka pila ke apni karvani hai kya." Well he had actually pissed me on many occasions सो मुझ से रहा नहीं गया। The youngsters (young officers) told me in the party "Ma'am sahi diya". What ever ... I tell the same to my husband daaru pila ke kya poochna chahte ho.. aise bata deti hoon..kisi ke baap se darti hoon kya.

चलिए हम ने शुरू भी नहीं की और शादी के दस साल बाद पति ने भी छोड़ दी. अब हम अपने क्रिस्टल के गिलासों में दूध और लस्सी और पानी पीते हैं।  दुःख तो होता है पर ठीक है.  वैसे भी आज कल लोग अधिकतर ड्रिंक्स जैसे ब्रीज़र्स और बियर बोतल से ही पी लेते हैं। वैसे आप को एक बात बताऊँ न ता फौजी दारु कोटा अनलिमिटेड है और न ही फ्री.  आज कल पहले की तरह पीने वाले भी नहीं बचे.  फ़ौज में अब बहुत कम अफसर दारु पीते हैं और लुढ़कने वाले  तो बिलकुल नहीं दिखते जैसे हमे बचपन में दीखते थे।  अलबत्ता औरतों के तौर तरीके बदले हैं और वोदका, बियर और ब्रीज़र्स लेडीज में काफी लोकप्रिय हो गए हैं. और उन्ही में से कुछ लुढ़कने वालों की कमी भी पूरी कर देती हैं. अधिकतर लेडीज बिना पिए डांस फ्लोर पर पैर नहीं रख पाती इसलिए पीती है.  सो लगभग उनके पति का कोटा पूरा हो ही जाता होगा। हमारे जैसों का कोटा दोस्तों के वास्ते हो जाता है।  अब जिनको यह बात मालूम है वह दोस्त रिश्तेदार इसका फायदा ले लेते हैं।  इतना तो दोस्तों के लिए बनता है. पर कभी कभी भलाई भी मुसीबत बन जाती है.  हमारे एक बहुत नज़दीकी दोस्त जो पीने के शौक़ीन थे हमारे कोटे के चलते इतना पीने लगे कि लिवर जवाब दे बैठा।  हमें इतना अफ़सोस पहले कभी नहीं हुआ।

पीते नहीं तो क्या, पिला देते हैं … थोड़ी थोड़ी। . वह ग़ज़ल है न.… महंगी हुई शराब की थोड़ी थोड़ी पिया करो. हम कहते हैं कि सस्ती भी ले लो जनाब, पर थोड़ी थोड़ी पिया करो… न हो जाये लिवर ख़राब, थोड़ी थोड़ी पिया करो।
P.S  I will edit the portion written in English and perhaps write it again later... in Hindi. Due to bad internet I had typed in English.. Just finished this at the Airport before my flight... Posting it right away.. dekh lena.. typos. :)

हम तो चौपालिये हो गये

जैसे एक शराबी मयख़ाने में सकूँ पाता है एक लेखक चौपाल या बैठक में, जहाँ उसके जैसे सुनने सुनाने वाले मिलें। पिछली बार, जब पहली बार चौपाल में पहुँचे, तब से हम तो चौपालिये हो गये। आज किसी ने पूछा कि समन्दर का किनारा छोड़ कर इतनी दूर धूल फाँकने क्यों आ जाते हो? अरे इसी नशे के कारण। एक विचित्र जीव होता है लेखक जो अपनी ही दुनिया में रहता है। ठीक उस शराबी की तरह.। अपनी ही तरह के लोग… बच्चों जैसे। शब्दों से खेलने वाले, कुछ अपने आप से बातें करने वाले पागल, किसी रूह को यार कहने वाले… बड़े अजीब होते हैं यह लोग। पिछली दफ़ा पाँच घण्टे कैसे बीते पता ही नहीं चला।  कुछ लोगो ने कहा, "अब तक की सबसे बढ़िया चौपाल थी" और हमारी पहली। क्या इत्तिफ़ाक़ है न। आज दूसरी बार फिर से मज़ा आ गया . संस्मरणों की चौपाल में कुछ ने गुदगुदाया और कुछ ने तह दर तह जा कर पुरानी यादों को कुरेद कर रख दिया.  किसी की रेल यात्रा थी और कोयला मेरी आँखों में चला गय।,  पगली मैं बहुत रोई.

फिर एक व्यंग्यकार ने इतना हँसाया कि शिकायतें दूर हो गयी. एकाद्शी के पावन दिन पर जीवन की कई सच्चाइयों का पता चला। चौपाल में जा कर अपने ही जैसे लोगों से मिल कर महसूस होता है मुझ जैसी मैं ही नहीं मुझसे बरसों पहले इस दुनिया में आये हुए लोग भी है। यही एहसास मेरी रूह को सकूँ देता है…

What's in a surname?

My daughters' passports were to be re-issued.. (RE-ISSUED) and the passport clerk spotted an GROSS error..Surnames do not match with those of the parents. So objection was raised. I went to APO and finally they dug out old application records and cleared the case. Both my girls have their OWN names in full..no surnames or family names. I have to explain this many times to many people that I have given my children a unique identity..they don't have to change their names after marriage etc. My husband is appreciative and supportive of this decision and the school has finally understood that too. Else I was known as Mrs So and so, four different surnames, my maiden, my married one and with my two daughters' second names.

Once a an Air India staffer at Kolkata airport asked me the reasons for no surnames and when I explained it to her, she said, "Hats off ma'am. You are a gutsy women." Guts? It is logical way to give a Girl Child her due place in society. Let her not be known by someone's name and keep changing her identity with changes in her marital status. A name is one's identity and sadly I see many women losing a part of them in these petty changes. Some feel guilty and some feel sad about changing it. Besides everything, it is whole lot of paperwork and unnecessary affidavits that one makes for these changes. As the passport clerk said.. some come for change after marriage, some after divorce and some after remarriage. What a waste of energy, time and resources, Give your girls an UNIQUE NAME and teach them to make a name for themselves. That will bring about a great change in their attitudes and in the society. Whats in a name? Lots, when you have to go through the official documentation. Its legal, social and emotional issue.

Magnificent Mary Kom

#FDFS. This is the first time I have liked a PC movie...for #MaryKom. A woman, a #Manipuri (I have a great connect with that state) the legendary #MaryKom has been documented (more or less) or say immortalized on celluloid. The film has some dialect problem..it lacks continuity but not many would feel that way if they have not been interacting with Manipuris. A great watch for the younger generation, #MaryKom should inspire film makers to bring the stories of many other achievers on celluloid. The high point in the theatre was when our National Anthem is played for Mary Kom's victory (on screen).  People stood up as a mark of respect and sat once the JanGanMan ended...they were wanting some more of #MaryKom. If that is what PC did on screen reliving few moments from a great life, my head bows down to the real heroine of the Boxing rink. MAGNIFICENT,  MARVELOUS, MARY KOM. And I sincerely do hope that the corrupt federation guys get boxed in the head and are knocked out. Take your kids out for an inspiring and entertaining story.

**** Its Four Star Film... Well done Priyanka Chopra!!

Water, Water oops Bottles, Bottles everywhere..

I mostly carry a water bottle filled at home and very rarely I buy a #MineralWater bottle. If I do, I feel very guilty about it. Specially about disposing it. I don't understand the pricing of the bottled water. The source is free, perhaps it is the bottling and the carriage cost which one pays to consume this water. 

I have traveled length and breadth of this country and so many times I have drank water from a hand-pump, a well, a waterfall or a stream. Its okay with me. Perhaps someone up there is kind with me..literally मैंने घाट घाट का पानी पिया है। I am not finicky when the source of water is natural. But I doubt the bottled mineral water.  The quality of it. It appalls the way used up water bottles are dotting the landscape everywhere. It is sad to see every historical and tourist place littered with PET bottles. Now even the soft drink bottles are PET, so enough trash to be darted in the tree branches, waterfalls, lakes and river. I have seen people throwing bottles for fun, kick them and leave them. If possible I have asked them to take it back and many times disposed it myself. But disposal itself is questionable. At Elephanta Island there is a heap of trash accumulated. Will it be brought back for recycling? When? Who? How? 

Question is why create situations such as these where we will have to find remedies and sometimes expensive ones. The environment will be damaged and we will pay a very heavy price by then. Why can't we have central potable water units in every place and people fill their bottles from there..free of charge?  By the way, it is become fashionable and perhaps easy way out to keep bottled Mineral Water at every meeting. Even in the government. Gone are the days when a decent sparkling glass of water, covered was kept in front of dignitaries. 

America has created enough trash already and is beginning to change. We in India have it in our genes... we are okay with recycling, reusing and reaffirming our faith in nature. It won't be difficult to BAN THE PLASTIC BOTTLES IN INDIA. We can do it. We should do it and we should do it right away.


#‎GovernmentofIndia‬ ‪#‎BJP‬ ‪#‎BMC‬ ‪#‎MIneralWater‬ ‪#‎Bottledwater‬ ‪#‎trekkers‬ Please check this out. here is google search link... This news is true... Its time we work on this too.

https://www.google.co.in/search?q=sanfrancisco+water+bottles&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=fflb&gfe_rd=cr&ei=w-7pU7C_OcaGoAPko4Ao

Ganapati Bappa Morya on eco-drive !!

Hello...... one more thing... equally important.....

There will be a "Beach Clean Up Opearation" on 9th Sept at Girgaum Chowpatty.... to help keep the Chowpatty and Sea clean after the Ganesh Visarjan.

We should do it, we can do it but why? And why not. Last year I too was very gung ho about this cleaning the beaches after Ganapati. I approached some schools in SOBO to chip in and one particular Principal gave me a very thought provoking answer and made me reconsider the entire issue in a new light. Here's what she said..

"Why create such a situation in the first place? Everyone including the authorities first create that mess after visarjan and then we are expecting to bring children to teach them about environment and get them to clean the beaches. What kind of confused message we are giving children?"

I had no answer. I am a staunch Hindu and I love Ganesha and I do love bringing Ganapati home every year. And I do feel strongly about certain things like environment. Having lived in Mumbai, I have observed that all these sarvjanik Ganapati Pandals are more of social and political in nature than purely religious. Which is fine and in a way it brings about a certain flavour, typical to this festival. But then it also brings about certain serious environment issues with it and they have to be addressed sooner than we would like to.

Now the question is can't we work backwards? Like create Ganpatis which are of a particular size, made of purely biodegradable material, including the colours.  Not allow any other idol to be submerged in water bodies if it is not conforming to 'save-environment' specifications. Having done that can't the same very people who danced all the way to visarjan go and help clean the beaches and other places where they happily bid farewell to their loving God. Ganapati Bappa would love to go on an eco-drive.

Yeh KICK kya hai?

This is the first time I have seen a Salman movie so late..'allah maaf kare'. No, my brotherely affection for him has not lessened its just that there were other issues. Another thing is that I have consciously decided to not rip the films apart in my reviews because I am a wanna be film maker, writer and tomorrow I may land up making a film with same guys in the film fraternity so I avoid critical confrontations. Like for Humpty Sharma ki Dulhania..(kheeekheeekheee) But kahe bina raha bhi nahin jaata, so may be I will consider with "conditions apply" in the future.

Lets KICK start my review... Its a story of a boy who is almost like a video games addict, so he loves banging cars, flying bikes like copters and likes to live life on the edge for that extra KICK. Actually its the same KICK we all are also looking for, so we keep sitting glued to cinema hall chairs enduring his nonsense for quite long waiting for that KICK to happen. Now to cure his KICK disorder Jacqueline enters as a qualified psychiatrist. Fair enough.. n she falls in love with...oops, with his disorder n together they enjoy the chaos for sometime including a song in which she suddenly turns to some yoga poses like parvat asana, then doing some stretches and some trapeze dance moves. That seriously made me think that she should have been shown as a circus artist and Salman would have had got a bigger KICK. (khee khee kheee)

At times the movie looks like a biopic of bhai. High on life, banging carz..... like he said in one of the TV shows that he misses his carefree younger days.... well his character is a 40 year old who is still clinging to his boyhood. But towards the end, the movie actually gives you a KICK when you see the sensitive Sallu bhai shedding a tear for a orphaned little girl suffering from cancer.. Perhaps like his real life he becomes a guardian angel to so many kids suffering from cancer. You fall in love with this super cute boy-man one more time. So so so 'being human'.

I wanted to see more of Nawazuddin Sheikh with Salman.. with more interesting dialogues...for that extra KICK. But aisa nahin hua.. bhai ne ek hi KICK mein us se screen aur film se bahar kar diya. Randeep Hooda looked fine but for his dirty teeth.. he needs dental appointment.

Not much rib tickling comedy in comparison to rib breaking action. My KICK ASS moment of the film.. last shot when Bhai turns up as Police Officer..face to face with Randeep Hooda to deliver the finally KICK to the villains.. Randeep smiles for the first time with "Ladki aur naukri dono toh chali gayee.."

Go watch the film if you are Salman Khan fan. There is Entertainment, entertainment, entertainment. The songs are super, especially the 'Hangover' in Bhai's aawaaz...Well this is a nice Eid gift to his fans... Eid Mubarak.. go check the film out if you have not.